HOME      Courses      Shortcuts      Exotics     Danger Dinner      Editorial      Comments         Contact Us

The very name conjures visions of pies made for a church supper or July Jefferson  Davis Fan Club picnic. Huckabeeberry pie; certain to be found on the dessert menu of a Southern diner, and served with Reddi Whip and colored sprinkles. But we are dealing with a meat product of one sort or other, so if the pie route is taken we may  have to think in terms of a pot pie that is scant on meat and vegetables, and largely born again gravy.

 Well-publicized weight loss has reduced the marbling this specimen once had, and recent hard running may have further altered the muscle, making it harder to chew and swallow. This is one of the very few dinner ingredients capable of providing its own background music.

 In our opinion the condition of the carcass and its history would make various cuts more appropriate for soups, stews, and slow braises than roasting, broiling, or grilling, a postulate buttressed by various reports of a certain toughness, even harshness, under that soft and pliable exterior. We are also of the opinion that Huckabee dishes would be of limited appeal to Northern palates; judicious use in Southern specialties may well succeed in recipes that call for possum or raccoon, and before meal graces that include exhaustive lists of those who will be left behind come the Rapture.

 Still, there is a vocal, determined minority inclined to put down their 'Gays Bern In Hell' and fetus placards and pick up a fork for Huckabee. The chances that these true believers can evolve into a food movement that will have everybody having Huckabee seem to have taken the Jenny Craig route, and slimmed considerably.
 
Rating: 1 Fork -1 1/2 if he evolves slightly.

Suggested recipes: Adam & Eve on a Raft; Believer and Onions; Beef Baptiste; Value Meals; Darwin Skewers

Course Advice:  Could work well for some as an appetizer, others want their ham more clearly identified; may be best for the soup course since there is some doubt he will last to the main meal; more suitable to church dinners and as home-school lunchmeat than for a well-balanced dinner party.

Substitutions: More palatable than most ‘Family Values’ proponents, yet still has similar mouth feel and  disturbing aftertaste.

Beverage Suggestions:  Slim Fast; non-alcoholic Moonshine; Corn Pone whiskey

Warnings: Not for consumption by gays, atheists, agnostics, evolutionists, or any race other than cousin-marrying whites; may cause some consumers to speak in tongues.

---