Because
of his glacial slowness in dealing with the Katrina disaster one
might think that Brown might provide an acceptable substitute for
escargot. Don’t. Nor would he, in the opinion of our editors,
function as a substitute for turtle, or even sloth.
To be honest we are utterly baffled as to what he might
be good for, and have consequently been forced to reach outside our
editorial circle for advice. We conferred with several renowned
chefs in New Orleans in hopes that they might have useful
ideas. While every one of them was immeasurably pleased by and
highly enthusiastic about the concept of Brown being cut up,
deboned, wrapped
in butcher’s paper, and stuffed in a cooler somewhere, not a one of
them could think of one dish where he would work. Emeril just burst
into tears. And this in a city where they will cook and eat damn
near anything.
The carcass does have a certain appeal because of its
fat/meat ratio, and the lack of activity would suggest overall
tenderness, but in the end it is almost certain that Brown would
once again leave a bad taste in the mouth. If one is absolutely
determined to use Brown, be it out of desperation or demented Bush
Brand loyalty, plan way ahead, and have a Plan B to put into motion
when Brown once again proves to be useless.
0 Forks -1/2 as a Cabinet meeting snack
Unsuitable as an appetizer; certain to
render any soup excessively watery; if you must use him as an entrée
he might serve as a ‘late’ dish, that is to say one that is still in
the oven and not ready in time for dinner, and ends up scraped into
the trash later. Even then we suspect that whatever he was in
would be badly prepared and underdone.
See above.
Once again our editors are at a loss. But we won't refund your
subscription unless you can do better. Go on. We dare you.
Sloe gin fizz; Katrina Delight (nothing in an empty glass); Lower
Ninth Stinger; Fema Zombies
Warnings:
May be fed to the gators by Gulf Coast residents; induces profound
torpor.
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Act Celebrity Cooking Magazine and eatthefamous.org are a plausibly deniable division of Trollworks Global Media Conglomerated Syndicate and Interior Debating Society, a largely untraceable subsidiary of No Loaf Ink. Opinions expressed on this site are at least as valuable as those heard on Fox News, and should be taken seriously only by those with a sense of humor. Always exercise caution when dealing with cutting implements, kitchen appliances, and open flame. |
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