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Some ingredients present a special challenge to even the most accomplished cooks. While there is almost nothing someone somewhere won’t eat and pronounce tasty, there is a point of diminishing returns. We are afraid that is the problem here. First there is the issue of the need to remove various wires, pacemakers, potentially explosive batteries and inorganic joints from this carcass before one dares get it near heat. In some cases this extra prep work is worth the time and energy involved.

  This is not one of those cases, mostly because the editors are of unanimous opinion that the meat is too old, akin to Million Year Old Eggs, or cheeses so ancient that there are dinosaur footprints pressed into their rinds, and thus so beyond the range of normal edibility. We are afraid that this meat would at best evoke superannuated goat, and consumption of it might take whole years off your life.
    
Rating: 0 forks -unless we were stranded in a desert island and the choice was between King and O'Reilly, and there was no treatment for poisons or parasitic infections within swimming distance.

Recipes suggestions: We are at a loss to provide any other than Archaeopteryx ala King.

Course Advice: A touch too withered to be workable as an appetizer; possibly acceptable in a pinch as a substitute for anchovies, capers, or ripe cheese in a soup; better seen from the dinner table than on it.

Substitutions: If one really has the urge for a meal based on an older news personality, we would suggest the following: Mike Wallace is better preserved; Andy Rooney has a more marbled carcass; and Daniel Schorr would at least make you feel you’d eaten something good for you.

Beverage Suggestions:  Geritol; Old Grandad; Old Milwaukee; Dinosaur Egg Cream

Warnings:  If consumed may induce premature senility, narcoleptic spells, logorrhea, and chest pains. Will tend to repeat, and may cause gas.

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