An open secret inside the food magazine industry is that the
mouth-watering imagery they present has been carefully styled by the
application of substances that render the food if not just inedible,
then
so toxic as to poison any rat, cockroach, or starving intern foolish enough to take a
surreptitious nibble. Several of our editors have expressed some concerns about the Edwards
gloss, and it may be an issue to keep in mind. And yet even they
must admit that it is possible Edwards is naturally photogenic, and
they further admit less of a concern about the ingredient in
question being largely synthetic, as is the case with Romney.
The carcass is of a decent grade, not too lean, not too
fat. While some harsh, even strident flavors are sure to be found
with certain cuts, others seem to be tender and palatable. This
specimen is now much less likely to be available nationally, and so
slightly harder to find.
Southern specialties always summon thoughts of certain
kinds of cooking methods and styles, an extremely limiting mindset
the diligent and adventurous cook must always strive to overcome.
Suffice it to say that with Edwards deep-fried, Southern fried and
barbecued are quite likely to work, and that side dishes such as
collards, grits, and hushpuppies will be eminently appropriate.
Edwards may well be suitable to a wider range of styles and palates,
even inspiring a sort of populist Dixie Fusion that would play well
on both coasts, and in middle America, but only as a side dish, or
perhaps even a late-addition second meat course.
The number of people willing to experiment with Edwards has proved
to be limited, and yet paradoxically his flavors seem to be turning up in many
places. It appears that large meals based on this ingredient are not
entirely successful, but it can be a crucial addition to many dishes
as in the manner of ham hocks, veal stock, or in a more extreme
case, Nader.
3 Forks -2 at the Country Club, 4 at Socialist rallies.
Pop Torts; Trimmed Hare; Poll Trail Mix; Po' Boys
The milder cuts have a good appetizer appeal, the harsher may be
left on the tray; soups may reject silver spoons; the slow simmer of
two bids for national office do not seem to have tenderized
Edwards, so smaller cuts may be less difficult to chew than larger
slabs.
Bono for a younger crowd; George Clooney for a broader range of
diners.
Small brewery beers; Barbicide; 2% milk
Warnings:
May be third-favorite choice at buffets; may not work with
industrially produced foods.
We here at Celebrity Cooking Magazine have several food safety
concerns when it comes to cooking with lawyers. As an ingredient
they tend not to be universally liked, they can turn bad easily, and
generally their costs outweigh any benefits they promise to bring to
the table.
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Act Celebrity Cooking Magazine and eatthefamous.org are a plausibly deniable division of Trollworks Global Media Conglomerated Syndicate and Interior Debating Society, a largely untraceable subsidiary of No Loaf Ink. Opinions expressed on this site are at least as valuable as those heard on Fox News, and should be taken seriously only by those with a sense of humor. Always exercise caution when dealing with cutting implements, kitchen appliances, and open flame. |
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