Bill Maher

Some items go in and out of favor, popular at one moment, spurned and reviled as fondue or Ralph Nader the next, and yet over time coming back to show their value and regain their rightful place--just like Nader and fondue. That may be because the base appeal of those items has some limitations to begin with. Consideration of Maher is almost certain to breed uproarious enthusiasm in some quarter, howling disgust in others. As for our editors, we are intrigued by the possibilities.

The Maher carcass appears to be nicely marbled, neither too lean or overly fatted. Since stand-up actually involves a lot of sitting down we are not terribly worried about overzealous exercise having caused over-firm and developed muscles—quite often a problem in California specialties. Maintenance of a healthy diet means the meat is almost certainly free of various chemicals, toxins and meat-borne hormones—though it is always a good idea when dealing with comedians to test for anti-depressants. In spite of that, we here are Celebrity Cooking Magazine are convinced that this specimen would never be as bland as Kucinich or tofu.

We must admit to some concern that dishes prepared with Maher as the main ingredient might prove to have the same effect on the diner as Hash Brownies. Still, moderate consumption (no more than once a week, with breaks of a month or two periodically) shouldn’t be harmful to most adults and older children, but pregnant women should take care for fear that their children emerge sounding like Cheech and Chong, or worse yet, Fred Thompson.

We suggest that the savvy cook treat selected cuts of Maher as one would hot peppers; something that refined palates can consume with a smile, and the less discerning and adventurous will spit out in shrieking dismay before saying they didn't get it.

Rating: 4 Forks—if THC levels are acceptable. If not, this might make a good broth for those undergoing chemotherapy.

Recipe suggestions: Friday Night Frist Fry; Spicy Wing-its; Satire Samosas; Topical Punch; Pot-stickers; Elephant Maherinara

Course advice: Spicy appetizers only; soups made from comedians may have faint taste of borscht; good chops, decent roasts, inclined to occasional over-spiciness or too much irony taste.

Substitutions: Richard Belzer for a sharper, more bitter flavor; Chris Rock for sweeter, more soulful dishes.

Beverage suggestions: Royal Clown Cola; Bong Water Fizzies; Gimlets

Warnings: May prove fatal to the humorless and those with ironic allergies; does not adapt well to ‘kid food’; frequently out of season; consumers of large portions should not drive or operate heavy machinery.

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