Al Sharpton

This well-known preacher at large has striven mightily to provide the basis for any number of soul food dishes, and on the basis of that well-documented history we believe that care should be taken because of a historic tendency toward a certain, shall we call it oiliness, and half-baked involvement in spreads that do not always benefit from his presence.

While the age of this specimen is of some concern, he does present a well-marbled carcass apparently exercised only by racing from one set of cameras and microphones to the next, and so might prove to be as tender as the finest beef. Then again the vivid, even shrill flavor he often imparts might suddenly render the entire dish unpalatable, even indigestible to the average diner.

Obvious uses are deep fry, where any inherent oiliness would be rendered out, or at least moot, and barbecue. This might be the best method to employ with carefully selected cuts because that manner of cooking increases tenderness, and a robust sauce can cover for a variety of sins. One rule of thumb to remember, though: when barbecuing preachers and other religious figures only dry rubs are acceptable; none of them are ever quite the same after a good wet rub.

Rating: 1 Forks - 1 1/2 if used as a carefully managed flavor agent

Recipe suggestions: Baby Huey Back Ribs; Slightly Slick Meatballs; Film At 11 TV Dinners; Chocolate Harangue Pie; Pasta Brawley.

Course Advice: Lightweight enough for an appetizer; prone to be neck-deep in stews and soups; if served for dinner, expect leftovers.

Substitutions: Jesse Jackson would have better flavor and broader appeal; our choice for a piquant Sunday Preacher dinner would be Reverend Peter Gomes, and we’d be tickled pink at a chance to work with him.

Beverage Suggestions: Sacramental wine; Black Label beer or Scotch

Warnings: May cause gastric distress or reflux in people unsettled by loud Negroes, logicians, crowd control officers.

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